ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
