so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
