i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
