I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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