what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My penis needs a shock collar
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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