i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize