Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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