Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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