My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize