so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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