Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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