But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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