What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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