this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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