i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
