whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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