as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
