Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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