the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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