Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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