the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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