Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
