you would pick up someone in the library
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i've created a new STD.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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