We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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