What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
