Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
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You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize