Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
