So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
