this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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