I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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