Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
