Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
