I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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