when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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