i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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