good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize