if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
