So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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