The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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