Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize