To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
