oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
