We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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