I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
