I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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