I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
