i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
