Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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