hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
