i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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