Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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