can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize