I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
