just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
