did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
