what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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