Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Congratulations! We have a period
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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