weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
