If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
