Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
