omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
