Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
