I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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